Wednesday, December 07, 2005


As most people know, Oli's back in England for the time being having his genitals checked out by our Homeland Security officials abroad. Before you feel too sorry for him, read his account of the experience:

"There were basically loads of nurses wearing those fit nurse outfits that nurses wear... So, imagine me, looking cute (yes oh yes), headphones, black jacket, scarf, playing that 'oops where am I, I'm all lost but very confident anyway' thing I do sometimes and it worked wonders. They gave me hot chocolates, stole me muffins from the executives and gave me big smiles. A morning's work done. Then I went to H&M and bought some things I didn't need."

All I can say is I am totally going to wear my hair in pigtails when I go to England at Christmas and play it cute for every immigration official who helps little-'ol-lost-yankee me find my way through the big confusing Heathrow terminal. There's nothing like a desperate pregnant girl to turn on scrawny British airport employees.


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