Don't call me an American!

Lily is tired of being referred to as an American.

"Nationality is passed down through the father's line, thank goodness, and that means I'm English", Lily said earlier this afternoon. "Although I live here, and I may well grow up here, I'm not really that keen on playing baseball, eating freedom fries, watching insufferable network news or finding more culture in my yoghurt than in the society around me".

In an effort to assuage any doubts about her true identity Lily was seen earlier today playing football, not 'soccer', with her father. “American football is a joke; what’s the deal with all those advert breaks, and why do they wear all that body-armour? They’re pussies, that’s why!”

Lily's first utterances have found resonance with some, particularly her father, but they have also met with disappointment among many of her flag-waving peers, who have accused here of being un-patriotic and in league with Islamic terrorists.

Lily continued, “I like to call a Z a zed, not a zee, and I certainly don’t agree with the ridiculous month/day/year notation used here in the US. It’s nonsensical.”

Lily’s comments have rallied the support of a number of liberal groups, but have also galvanized conservatives in support of the embattled Ruiter administration.