Thursday, November 03, 2005

340 New Things That Could Kill Your Baby...

...and 470 things you can buy to save him.

Halloween has just passed us, but if you didn't get in enough thrills and chills over the holiday weekend, I have good news: just pick up a copy of Parents magazine and you're sure to have your pants scared right off!

In all seriousness, I gave this magazine a fair trial period, but I just can't handle being told things like:

-Bring sanitizing wipes with you to the pediatrician's waiting room and wipe down any vinyl surfaces before touching; avoid upholstered surfaces as they cannot be sanitized

-Limit your children's trick-or-treating time so they don't collect too much candy; try having your child trade you half of their Halloween candy for a small non-edible gift

Not to go all old fogey, but when I was a kid we licked all the toys in the doctor's office, ate chocolate 'til our eyes crossed, got sick, and then got better. Pure exaggeration, of course, but seriously, if we give our kid good real food and don't let her kiss little boys with smallpox too often, I bet she'll be healthy more often than she's unhealthy and won't resent us for wiping her down bi-hourly and tricking her into giving away her candy.

If you want a peek at Parents, try out this article on
preparing one's family for a biochemical terror assault, written by none other than Senator Bill Frist, M.D.

~ Angela


Jay said...

So you're saying it's going to be a girl? Why didn't I know about this? And hooray!

Oliver said...

Actually, we don't know what the baby is gender-wise. I just used "she" to be a PC parent. I'll let you know when I know!